Top 5 Reasons to tell Santa to FUCK OFF this Christmas

I mean, think about it! Christmas charity is reduced to fund drives of left-overs and hand-me-downs. While the Empathy meter's in an all-time low..

5. Elf slavery
4. Breaking & Entering is an "Akyat Bahay" M.O.
3. He fornicates with our moms
2. He steals the show from the infant Jesus
1. He is satan in disguise (move the "n", silly!)